Briez Blogs: Parent or Friend?

Briez Blogs: Parent or Friend?: *Picture of me with 2 of my girls Elisha & Ashley. Ashley is due Sept 10 2011

Question from Travis Birman - Where to draw the line bet...

Parent or Friend?

*Picture of me with 2 of my girls Elisha & Ashley. Ashley is due Sept 10 2011

Question from Travis Birman - Where to draw the line between being a parent and being your child's friend?

My response:

ALWAYS be a parent before you're a friend. Obviously I am both. But parenting has to come first. I've had to step back a time or two and pull away the "cool" act with my step daughters plenty of times. You start to notice the talking back that comes even more comfortably with friendship. At times they raid your closet and makeup drawer. They even repeat your very words!

Your children might have a role model like a famous celeb or mentor they idolize but ultimately YOU are their role model. They will act as you do. They eat, sleep, and breath you really. They might even hate you at times and let you know it but you're likely doing your job.

Parenting should always come first. If you're doing a great job and are a parent with an open heart and understanding as well, the friendship will come regardless of how hard you are on them. I was really hard on my girls when their father and I were together and as we split that changed a bit as he and I had different ways of parenting. My job got EVEN HARDER.

My ex and I started dating when the girls were 3 1/2, 5, 7. They are now 17, 19, and 21. I didn't give birth to them but have raised them as my own. It's been a long up and down road. Especially as they became teenagers and into boys and the social media, drugs, alcohol, sex...you name it.

Voice your opinion and reasons for opinions when it comes to trials, tribulations, mistakes, decisions, and choices in their lives. Always tell them what you have learned! Nobody has to make a mistake to learn from it. I've told my girls this over and over again. I always stress to them that I am not them but I've had experiences in my life that they can learn from without having to ever go through any of them.

Sure they are hard headed, so were we! Remember that and remember what you were doing at certain ages. Remember how you felt, what you wanted, what you dreamed to be. Be a friend to talk to and a parent to lead the way. When you share opinions, stories, and advice...be blunt but loving and stress that they CAN be whatever they want to be.

Nobody is perfect. You likely weren't and neither was I. Even if you thought you were, your child is not you. Each individual has their own traits, emotions, physical attributes, inspirations, and influences. So above all you are their MAJOR influence.

I remember getting swats from my dad and I deserved them when I got them, he always said "this is gonna hurt me a lot more than it's gonna hurt you". I thought, shoot...ya right! As an adult now and a parent, he was right. Parenting is not hunky dory and a piece of cake. It's work. It's a full time job. Even if you're not living with them or talking to them everyday. You're going to think about them and hope the best for them ALL THE TIME. It's emotional, it can change your dreams and inspirations, it'll encourage advising them with everyday tasks, decisions, and suggestions in their lives. My father has always been there for me and to this day gives me advice and suggestions and I gladly listen as most of the time it's me asking for it.

I idolized my mother and her beauty and got lost in her closet many times and she has put me in my place when I deserved it and thank goodness she did. Both of my parents I appreciate more than I can say.

I've disappointed them and made them proud and they love me either way. I have regrets in my life that I've wished in the past I could erase and get a "re-start" button. But it's only made me who I am today and I'm okay with that. I've learned so much along the way and have made changes accordingly in my life and will continue to encourage the same with my kids.

Children even at 30, will not always do what you say they should or take your advice and directions but they do listen! Even when they're rolling their eyes, slamming a door, or you feel that you're getting the bird behind your back, as long as you're talking, they're listening.

NEVER give up! Would you want us all to give up on you? Just be a parent. Strong, loving, and fully opinionated.

With all this said, I'd love to hear what you thought of your parents? Comment here and let's chat.

As Always, keep your eyes where they should be, in a comic book~Smiles Brieanna Brock

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